I’ve been on a quest the past few weeks to figure out what I want from life.
This, combined with other factors seem to be leading me down this path of finding where I’m wanted; not just what I need.
There is a different feeling when you want something. Maybe that’s why in the wants versus needs complex, needs are not as satisfying as wants. And, strangely for me, I might have found something looking at the relationships in my life. Or at least the relationships in my house.
Max and Percy and I have a different relationship among the furrbabies. Thankfully, Emily and Ender have never had to feel a desperate need to survive. We just rescued Percy yesterday and he has already given me ferret kisses. His previous owners were tired of him and had decided to put him down just because they didn’t seem to have time for him anymore. He’s beautiful and perfectly healthy and I wanted him to come home with us. We are his third home in 10 days; but no one has wanted him for quite some time. Maybe that’s why I received the first kisses so soon.
Max was a stray for six years and then for six years he lived with hoarders. I was looking for a friend for Emily when I ran across an ad on Craigslist for an older cat. I wasn’t sure about him, with his crinkled ear and strange aloofness among two younger kittens, but I knew if nothing else, I could find him a new home. His owners were moving and could only take two of the three cats. He had been voted oldest man out. What I didn’t plan on was us bonding so well. He handled my Emily and stuck by my side. He now sits here as I write as my sweet boy in his forever home! But again, that day, I wanted him to come home with me.
Maybe this is why I form strange relationships with people: that’s the problem with my parents. They never wanted children. They needed to have us for their own crazy reasons. But that was almost 30 years ago and the need is gone. The bond was never correct.
And as a tear slides down my cheek with this realization, my best friend rolls over and holds me tighter even though he’s fast asleep and doesn’t know the million thoughts running through my head delaying sleep. And I’m once again reaffirmed how truly wonderful it is to be wanted.