In the spirit of the original intent of this blog, I present: 18 Winter Car Hacks That Are Borderline Genius!
This kind of stuff makes me so mad. It’s not enough that media and thus society wants everyone to be thin, and repeatedly tells us so. Now, here is the ultimate solution: if you can’t reach a certain size, you can now pretend to with a dress designed onto another dress!
We were shopping for a dress to wear to a company holiday party and I was told this was cute. My response? No way in hell. Whoever thought that up cannot have my money and I will not help promote them by wearing it. The End.
I have never felt the holidays were something to be upset about. Especially Christmas – this was always my holiday!
However, I’m engaged this Christmas! And that part of my life could not be happier and more exciting. It’s the rest of the drama it brings with my personal life that could not be more annoying on MY holiday.
This will be the second Christmas I have spent with his family; the third I have not gone home to be with my alcoholic mother. As an added bonus to the maddness’ crazy head, a month ago I cashed in what little retirement I had to overnight it so that she would not be evicted. Now, aside from money not growing on trees, I’m a grad student, who found out before Thanksgiving that between two alcoholic disappearances from her and several strokes from my alcoholic father, my graduation will be delayed. And my funding runs out in May. To continue, each semester will cost exactly the amount I had to send to her apartment complex.
Last night I received a bogus email from mom telling me to have no regrets. This is the same email that estranged her from my sister years ago. I realize my response telling her to get help was probably wrong and fruitless, but every time I enlist her few friends for an intervention they don’t back me up. Who is supposed to keep trying to tell her she needs help then?
My alcoholic sister has been lying to me about her address for years. I know where she lives now, but I am not interested or looking forward to a battle to get her real address from her to send a wedding invitation.
So aside from the mom drama, what keeps me up at night is who to invite to the wedding. The friends I’ve talked to say just invite everyone; those with an excuse won’t come. But if they all do, it won’t be a pretty picture. I’m the one that asked dad to quit coming to birthday parties when we were little because he was so obnoxious to everyone inventing stories about my mom. But at the same time, during Thanksgiving meet-the-fiance introductions, it was dad and sister who showed up to dinner, no questions asked. Mom had to finally be told to be at an earlier lunch or I’m sorry we missed you and even then a friend had to final guilt trip her into showing up!
I keep trying to tell myself to make it through the holidays and then I can talk to other family about this. That this is not family holiday conversation. It’s just so maddening to live in a world where everyone makes up their own version-S of the truth. And also why I want a cash bar at the wedding so they can pay for their own substance abuse lol. I know the day won’t be perfect, but so far, it could be. I just can’t decide where I draw the line between damage control and letting people do as they will anyway.
Anywho, after a dispute about decorations and the decision to not have a tree this year, my fiance surprised me with a homecoming of the tree and stockings being put up! So for now, I’ll sit in front of my YouTube fire and hope the next few days go quickly. Merry Christmas everyone!
We’ve joked for a while now that Emily was the insane elder upstairs that we don’t talk about.
At almost 19, Emily exhibited signs of cat dementia. Actually, she had shown them for almost ten years, but I didn’t know it was a thing. Thanks to the Kitten and Cat Advice group on Facebook, this was pointed out to me.
So I had this dream that she was found, and the apartment complex/a doctor/vet’s office had UPSed her to California because I wasn’t home. I kept waiting for the UPS package to arrive to bring her back; my fiance and I had worked out a plan to keep her safe and well cared for. I woke up waiting for the package and thinking it was okay to keep snoozing because she was used to living in “rustic” conditions. (I kept waiting for her to arrive in wooden UPS box. She was found in a metal dumpster when she was little; not sure where I got the rustic idea.)
But, alas, I don’t get to return home to my friend of 19 years. After Thanksgiving in Texas, in which, yes, I did show Sam the infamous capital of Austin, although unfortunately not a lot of it this trip, he returned home to find her gone. Emily and I have been through everything together. From crazy parents, many moves, and first love heartaches, to the realization that my dad and sister were gone, a totally different kind of heartache. I texted her last night. I don’t really expect to hear back from her. I guess I was just looking for someone to tell that a final piece of childhood is gone.
Honestly, I can’t tell you why I’m writing this other than I was told it helps to get it out. No one wants to read a post about a dead cat. I can’t decide if I’m more mad that I was traveling again and wasn’t there for her or in disbelief: she was supposed to see me through all the degrees. One of the themes from Thanksgiving has been learning its okay to slow down and take my time with graduation. Do I take this as a sign now to be true? She got me all the way to All But Dissertation; now I can just let it be since she won’t be barking at me to get it done anyway. I guess.
Today’s objectives: first, try to figure out how to tell my bosses that the two papers that were already late have been derailed once again. Because growing up is so much fun. And second, make peace. I don’t want to spend the next two weeks hoping to come home to the UPS package.
I’ve been on a quest the past few weeks to figure out what I want from life.
This, combined with other factors seem to be leading me down this path of finding where I’m wanted; not just what I need.
There is a different feeling when you want something. Maybe that’s why in the wants versus needs complex, needs are not as satisfying as wants. And, strangely for me, I might have found something looking at the relationships in my life. Or at least the relationships in my house.
Max and Percy and I have a different relationship among the furrbabies. Thankfully, Emily and Ender have never had to feel a desperate need to survive. We just rescued Percy yesterday and he has already given me ferret kisses. His previous owners were tired of him and had decided to put him down just because they didn’t seem to have time for him anymore. He’s beautiful and perfectly healthy and I wanted him to come home with us. We are his third home in 10 days; but no one has wanted him for quite some time. Maybe that’s why I received the first kisses so soon.
Max was a stray for six years and then for six years he lived with hoarders. I was looking for a friend for Emily when I ran across an ad on Craigslist for an older cat. I wasn’t sure about him, with his crinkled ear and strange aloofness among two younger kittens, but I knew if nothing else, I could find him a new home. His owners were moving and could only take two of the three cats. He had been voted oldest man out. What I didn’t plan on was us bonding so well. He handled my Emily and stuck by my side. He now sits here as I write as my sweet boy in his forever home! But again, that day, I wanted him to come home with me.
Maybe this is why I form strange relationships with people: that’s the problem with my parents. They never wanted children. They needed to have us for their own crazy reasons. But that was almost 30 years ago and the need is gone. The bond was never correct.
And as a tear slides down my cheek with this realization, my best friend rolls over and holds me tighter even though he’s fast asleep and doesn’t know the million thoughts running through my head delaying sleep. And I’m once again reaffirmed how truly wonderful it is to be wanted.
As someone who grew up with Robin Williams, I am shocked and in disbelief of his passing. As a scholar of mental health communications, and someone who has suffered from depression, it saddens me to see someone’s life taken. But then again, we all get tired of being strong.
In the spirit of entrepreneurship, his words touch me. I had never heard this quote before. But you have to believe that that your words and ideas can change the world to start something like a group to help single moms and to give back to parents, who must make decisions bigger than themselves every day. I am neither. I come from a single mom. But I saw what she went through. I can only help to be as strong as her someday, should the time come for me to bring another human into the world.
So I would like to mention It Works! Global’s Confianza product. This product has done wonders for me. But the message here is: it takes guts to say something is wrong. If you suffer from depression, please find help, whether it’s with your doctor or from a natural remedy to help with stress/anxiety/depression like Confianza. Your life is too precious. We need you.
If you are curious about Confianza or other It Works! Global products, please visit my site at BAMidea.myItWorks.com.
People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite…Man’s goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never explained.
“Cry, the Beloved Country” was one of the few required reading books that I fell in love with. The world lost an amazing person today. Rest in Peace Nelson Mandela. May your legacy live on and continue to inspire.
There’s a lot of things I wonder why my parents didn’t teach me. Sometimes I think there should be the ultimate etiquette book or life for dummies and then I think – I can do that! And the next thought is I wouldn’t even know where to start!
But the latest wondering is if I’m not interested in talking on the phone because it was a “forbidden” activity, to an extent, growing up. My sister and I used to hope we were out of milk. Out of milk meant our dad had to go around the corner (literally: down the street, turn right, up the street) and pick up milk on Saturday morning. It wasn’t so much of a big deal during the school year on weekend visits; but in the month visit of July, we craved those mornings so we could call our mom.
One of us would stand by the window and watch. The other would dial and talk for a bit and then we would switch duties until the sudden “he’s back! we have to go! we love you!” and return to the Saturday morning cartoons in the living room with our heart racing, but content. We got to talk to our mom.
Last year I made the commitment to actually answer the phone when people call. Its not that I screen calls, I just have to put myself in the mindset to talk on the phone. I’m always okay after the conversation, but there’s such high anxiety getting there. It usually takes a few days to convince myself to call the phone company. Where as, at work, it was put on your big girl panties and make the necessary phone call, immediately, all the time, when needed.
So this year, here’s to taking the next step: I will, somehow, become a better family caller.
How could my parents have not taught me proper phone etiquette to stay in touch with family? Oh wait, they were too busy fighting each other or their parents to even try to understand that we needed to talk to both sides of the family. Do parents really realize the complications divorce builds in for their children later in life?
Probably the only thing more fascinating than watching mother-daughter interactions is watching old friends interact. Two people so bonded that they throw their heads back and laugh at the same recollections and jokes. Two people who just get each other. Two people who are brothers in every sense of the word that matters.
Lessons from a 5 year old:
I need a drink.
Lessons from a (5×5 + 5/5) year old: My, My Little Ponies were
had a better theme song,
and never! said or did evil. the ponies were good; the humans and dragons were evil.
The conclusion: 5 cats in one day? I am cat woman lol
And never underestimate the fun power of having blue tongues! (We made aquariums with blue jello and shark gummies – treasure chest included!)